When happiness comes and sits on your shoulder.

Yesterday I had two moments where I noticed that I felt the feeling of happiness. The first was while I was sitting, watching my toddler peel and consume a clementine after lunch and the second was while I was watching my toddler splash in puddles in the deepening twilight after having taken the bin out together. Feeling the cool wind on my face, breathing the crisp autumnal air and watching the glee of my toddler, it's easy to see why I would feel contentment in that moment, but if I could replicate those exact same conditions tomorrow, would I feel the same? Maybe, but maybe not.

We can't control what feelings we have - doing something which was enjoyable one day won't necessarily be as enjoyable another day. We need to let go of the idea of chasing feelings because there are no guarantees when it comes to your feelings. There are plenty of times I have watched my toddler eat a clementine which haven't stirred any happy feelings and times when I've watched her jump in puddles while only feeling frustrated at the messy splashes on her clothes. 

Instead of chasing feelings, turn to your values. For example, doing exercise sometimes makes you feel great afterwards but if you only do exercise in order to feel great then if you just feel exhausted or sad afterwards you will be less motivated the next time. If instead, you have a value of good health to follow then you can choose to exercise regardless of the feelings it creates. If you do feel great afterwards then you can enjoy the nice bonus.

It is very easy to get caught up chasing feelings like happiness - doing things because it should make you happy. If these things don't leave you feeling happy you might wonder if there's something wrong with you or be left with a feeling of disappointment. 

It reminds me of the quote: 

"Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder."

Yesterday I simply got on with my day - preparing meals, playing with my toddler, taking the bin out and happiness came and sat on my shoulder. I didn't have to do anything grand or unusual but still found happiness in the everyday.